Click here to go to Opinions You Should Have at tomburka.com. TITLE: Iraqis Protest Shooting of Iraqis by U.S. Soldiers; U.S. Soldiers Shoot Them AUTHOR: Tom DATE: 4/30/2003 12:58:00 PM ----- BODY: FALLUJAH, Iraq -- In a 2nd Incident, U.S. troops fired on Iraqi protesters protesting the shooting and killing of Iraqi protesters by U.S. troops the day before. Two protesters were killed. Meanwhile, Donald Rumsfeld addressed Iraqis from one of the Presidential palaces in Baghdad. "Iraq belongs to you," he said. "It's only the bullets that belong to us." Tomorrow, President Bush will stand on the deck of a really big aircraft carrier and announce that the war is over. "We've licked this whole thing," he said today. He was later heard to mutter, "If only we could get those Iraqis to stop shooting at us." -------- TITLE: Iraqis Celebrate; U.S. Soldiers Shoot Them AUTHOR: Tom DATE: 4/30/2003 12:44:00 PM ----- BODY: A small horde, group, or mass of Iraqis were either protesting the occupation of a school by U.S. forces or unwisely celebrating the birthday of Saddam Hussein when U.S soldiers in the school opened fire and either killed 13 or 15 of them or killed some of them while others were killed by what was called "celebratory gunfire." Soldiers in an elevated, enclosed schoolroom, unaware of either the lack of firecrackers in Baghdad or the practice of firing guns into the air to celebrate an event, apparently mistook the "celebratory gunfire"-- bullets fired up into the air that, obeying the laws of gravity, return to earth and accidentally revisit the shooter -- for "noncelebratory gunfire" -- in other words, people trying to kill them -- and killed members of the birthday party. News accounts differ. Some said the Iraqis were unarmed; others said that they were shooting off the guns into the air to protest the presence of U.S. soldiers in the schoolhouse; other said they were firing into the air to celebrate Hussein's birthday; others said that the Iraqis were dancing around a maypole and occasionally playing London bridge; one account said that Iraqis were threatening American forces with nuclear weapons and water pistols. The Washington post squared all of these accounts by simply reporting: "Details remained murky." --------