Click here to go to Opinions You Should Have at TITLE: Cheney Suggests Bush Make Absurdly Dangerous Landing On Aircraft Carrier AUTHOR: Tom DATE: 5/02/2003 11:16:00 AM ----- BODY: In three Presidential firsts, George W. Bush was visibly excited after arriving on board the U.S.S. Abraham Lincoln on a S-3 Viking jet wearing a flight suit over the largest codpiece worn by any President in U.S. history. A jet landing on an aircraft carrier is considered to be the most dangerous maneuver a pilot can perform. The pilot flying the jet was told that if he failed to make a successful landing, he would be punished severely, but because an unsuccessful landing constitutes crashing and blowing up, the pilot was simply told that his remains would not be scraped off the back of the carrier if he screwed up. President Bush decided to arrive by jet at the suggestion of Dick Cheney, who said, "You'll be o.k. as long as you keep your privates covered." Cheney has also suggested that, for future press conferences, national addresses and pubic appearances, the President should:
Upon the President's return to the White House that evening, Cheney greeted him at the door to the Oval office with a cool drink and a snack. "Pretzel?" he offered. --------